Let’s Talk About Sky on Black Ink Crew and How Her “Friends” Failed Her

There is so much I want to say here so this might be a bit lengthy.  Unfortunately, Sky and her son got into an altercation (it’s what they do in that family due to a lot of trauma and mental illness).  I feel some type of way about this subject due to the fact that (as I always say) I have bipolar disorder and I know the importance of taking this mental illness VERY seriously.

A Brief History of this Broad and Her Sons

I have never been a fan of Sky’s due to the fact that she was always over the top, wanting to fight people, acting a hot mess, and just doing too much.  With that said, I always knew that there was an issue even before the episode when her mother disappeared and it was stated that her mother suffered from bipolar disorder.

In addition to her mother leaving her alone as a child for days at a time, Sky became a young mother to two boys and also was in an abusive relationship with the father of said boys.  She went to jail for a while, her mom disappeared, and the kids were taken (or something like that).  Her kids had a great foster family that they went with but, unfortunately, even the love that they got from that family couldn’t save them.  Nature won out over nurture, unfortunately.  The oldest one ended up in jail and the younger one tried to do better and there is still hope for him.  He tried to forge a relationship with his mother but things just didn’t pan out the way we wanted them to.  Even the older one tried to have a relationship with her but there is too much that needs to be unpacked in their lives.  They all are suffering from some sort of trauma.

Sky cared more about her outward appearance than her inner self and decided to get a bunch of plastic surgery.  She claimed that she thought that getting her outward appearance squared away would help her with her self esteem and the like. That’s fine and all but I think she got it backward.  And that’s okay, she was trying.

It just seems that after she got the plastic surgery, she got worse.  It was like her self esteem blew up and made her into an even BIGGER monster.

Her oldest son took it very hard because he felt that she should have done more to get them. She got the money to get all this surgery but what about her children?  So then she wrote a letter to them and tried to start anew.  That didn’t work out.  Meanwhile, she’s getting promoted for being mediocre at a tattoo shop.  She then leaves, starts a business, it fails, and then she disappears.  I will NEVER be happy about someone failing in their business endeavors but this is a part of being bipolar. Sometimes you will do stuff for no reason without really thinking everything through.

Her Attempt at Healing

She started trying to fix relationships of other people but couldn’t fix herself.  She did these yoga classes and talked about meditation but that form of treatment (although helpful) wasn’t going to work for her without some other help.

About a year or two ago, I DM’d her and really tried to reach out and tell her to see a therapist because I suffer from bipolar disorder and the fact that her mother was bipolar and it’s hereditary meant she needed to get a better grasp on what was going on because she was in a downward spiral.  Now, I know that people don’t read their DMs, especially “celebrities” but it was worth a try.

Why I Think Her Friends Had a Hand in Her Horrible Behavior

One thing that I hate for people to say is “Oh, that’s just how __________ is.”  When you make comments like this, you are excusing the bad behavior of said person.  You are not helping; you are enabling.  That helps no one. This really could have been nipped in the bud years ago.  But everyone just laughed. This broad throwing chairs, glasses, slapping men, and acting a whole fool and NO ONE did anything to stop her.  Why? Because it was good for the show?

For Caesar to be her “big brother” he did a horrible job at doing so.  A HORRIBLE job.  A true friend tells you when you need help.  Just like he went around with her trying to find her mother, he should have been suggesting that she seek out a psychiatrist for herself.  YES, a psychiatrist.  She needs therapy AND meds.  Yes, talking through all the things that happened to her in her life will definitely help but bipolar disorder isn’t the type of mental illness that usually goes untreated.  You will have a serious breakdown and it might lead to your demise.

We need to do better as a people.  African Americans really think that mental illness is a joke. That’s why I write these blogs, to make it so that people aren’t afraid to share their stories and aren’t afraid to ask for HELP.  Her actions were a cry for help and she was ignored.

As I said, I might not like her but I feel for her.  This is not something that is going to go away and someone should have stepped in a long time ago to help her.  Thankfully,  VH1 is suspending her and, hopefully, they will demand that she gets help if she wants to be back on the show.

Phor from Black Ink: Chicago had the smarts to say how he felt and he had a whole GROUP of people there to support him.  THOSE are the kinds of friends you need.  And not only that, but the outpouring of SUPPORT from fans alone made my heart smile.  He knew he wasn’t alone and other people saw that they weren’t alone as well just from him sharing his story.  He also took time off to get HELP.  That’s what you do.  He wasn’t even acting like Sky but he knew that something wasn’t right as did his friends who knew and cared about him.

What Can YOU Do?

If you really want to call yourself a friend and you see your friend spiraling out of control, you help them. I have seen interventions where people were pissed at their friends for doing it but they figured out that there truly was a real problem.  Sitting in denial won’t make it go away.  So SAY something.

Check on your friends.  Just because they might be quiet doesn’t mean they’re okay. If you see them acting out of character, come to them and ask them if everything is okay.  I have friends on Facebook that I haven’t met a day in my life but I check up on them every once in a while because you just never know.  This world is hard and some people have been through so much adversity that you wouldn’t even know of because you never even bothered to ask.  BE a friend.  Don’t just CALL yourself a friend.

That’s why that word is VERY important to me.  BE your brother’s/sister’s keeper.  Don’t just say “Oh, that’s my bestie” or “That’s my friend”.  Live up to that title, man.  It’s so heartbreaking to see this girl hurting and folks just sitting here using it for ratings.  I like the show and I want to see her do better.  I might not like her but I understand her pain and the process isn’t going to be easy.  What she did was take the “fun” route.  Some people take the “fun” route by self medicating, doing yoga, meditating, doing random stuff.  That doesn’t always work, especially not with certain mental illnesses.

I have spoken about the process that I went through here, the meds I had to try out to find what worked for me, being put in the psych ward, and all that.  You think that was fun?  No, it wasn’t.  But I’m a much better mother, sister, daughter, aunt, than I was before.  Otherwise, I would have been dead likely by suicide.

Sky is getting death threats for how she treated her son and, honestly, she and her son were out of line but they both were coming from a place of serious hurt and that trauma won’t go away in a day.  It takes YEARS.  I have been in therapy for 20 years now.  I don’t have to see my therapist and psychiatrist as often as I once did and that’s because we made TONS of progress.  It also helped that I went to school for Psychology and had to look at myself and answer some hard questions that weren’t always easy to ask or acknowledge.

With that, I will end with this:  I hope that Sky gets the help that she needs.  I will never judge her because she had a hard life but she truly needs to surround herself with better people and get some help.

As always, thank you for reading.

 

Published by tallgirl79

Blogging about life. Well, my life. As a black, bipolar, mom to a teenager with special needs, well, there is always a story to tell. From my aversion to having a man to my weird experiences while trying to avoid people, it's all there. Being me is.... different but it always makes for good blogs.

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