As a single mom, my child is a priority that I take very seriously but somehow I got lost along the way. I work, I play my little games on my phone, go on Duolingo and learn languages, and make vids of my little family. I don’t get my hair done because I work from home and can look homeless all day and not have a care in the world. I try not to deal with people too much so I do things when most people aren’t awake (see Knowing Your Triggers). Remember my posts about triggers and being bipolar (actually diagnosed and not just calling myself bipolar) so going out among people isn’t always fun but it is when you have great people with you. How was I able to do things that made me happy?
I haven’t gotten my hair braided in maybe three years now. Whenever I wanted to, I always thought about a bill I could pay or getting clothes for my growing teenager. I could always find something else more important to do with my money and it wasn’t in reference to me. I took the week off from work to decompress but the decompressing came with a ton of errands. However, Sunday, I begrudgingly went and got my hair braided. I say this because $220.00 could have paid off my Target card (don’t worry, I paid off small cards with my tax money and put a lot into savings, I’m no fool). I got my hair done and it put me in a different mindset (or maybe the braids were just too tight). I felt good and gave myself permission to get some clothes so as not to look homeless when I went out. My nephew has an event I need to go to and my sister is having a jewelry party. I can’t go around scaring people. So New York and Co got my money (I paid that card off too). Remember I had gained and lost a lot of weight so I was relegated to sweat pants and work out gear.
So the hair got done, clothes purchased (for myself and my daughter because she is in women’s clothing now), now what?
So I took a week off after getting a raise and bonus date (so I can pay more things down, sorry, I can’t help it).
It was flippin President’s Day. I had planned to hang out with the only guy that has tolerated me for years but we both had our kids so I was lazy. HOWEVER, I got my German Shepherd a grooming appointment.
I did my annual at the GYN. I ain’t had sex in over 4 years but you gotta get all that checked out before it falls out because of non use. I got to play with my bestie’s growing belly (we having a baby yall) and talk to her during her lunch (which she treated me to) I also took my cat to the groomer’s. WAIT! I actually have a cat. Her name is Cutie. I wasn’t talking about my….. nevermind.
Took those above mentioned raggedy jerks to the vet and spent up half my bonus. Yo, that hurt my feelers yall. LOL But it needed to be done.
I had planned to hang with another great friend of mine (Whitney, and she told me to forget our plans and go out with that man) but the most patient man in the world took off so that we could hang out. I had the best time. He took me to a very nice place for breakfast and then we went to the mall. BUT, I saw a Jared and always said that I just wanted to go there and try on rings like I was going to get married so I could say “We went to Jared”. He is such a GREAT sport because I can’t see many men doing this because some women would get the wrong idea. This man went in the store and we answered questions with made up answers and I was sitting there laughing. He played along very well. Even picked some rings that he “liked” for me. I took pics and posted them on Facebook and had people baffled but the people that KNOW me knew better and were laughing.
I had to leave that store before I fell out laughing and this nut was strolling out the store talking bout “Why you walking so fast? Did you steal something?” LOL Then we walked around the mall talking and making up stories for the salespeople that asked questions. I did a ton of laughing. I hadn’t laughed like that in a long time.
My daughter had her Honor Roll Assembly. Couldn’t miss that. I am so proud of her but don’t want her to go to high school. She’s my baby girl. She loves Target so I am getting her a gift card.
My friend that yelled at me and made me reschedule OUR day together because she wanted me to go out with TMPMITW (The Most Patient Man in the World) and I went to David’s Bridal to play in wedding dresses. I had made an appointment and went in there with made up dates for the both of us. My wedding is October 7th. LOL While trying on dresses, I fell in love with one. My salesperson’s name was Kathy Johnson so if you are looking for a dress and are near Springfield, VA, go see Kathy. She found the dresses and I just went along with it. My friend, Whitney and I made up stories, talked about my “fiance”, took pics, danced, laughed, and I didn’t even skip a beat when asked what my venue was (I was engaged before so I chose that place LOL).
We then hit the mall where I introduced Whitney to the crack that is known as Cinnabon. I thought everyone had had it before. I was wrong. I apologize again, Whitney, we will get you the help you need. LOL
I will be with all my siblings as we watch my nephew get his second black belt. Hanging with ALL my siblings doesn’t happen a lot but when it does, it’s full of laughter and fun. This was what I needed but, better yet, I deserved it. Being with the people I love and not worrying about a thing.
What I Learned
Sometimes you have to do things for yourself. As long as you have priorities, everything will work out fine. I will remember this week but I also need to make time to spend with my friends. They make me happy and sometimes I don’t give myself credit for the happiness I give them. I always talk about how they make me feel but maybe I make them feel good things too. I often see myself as a burden.
I also learned that I would make a beautiful bride once I let someone in but that’s another blog as I had very in depth conversations with my therapist and friends regarding my aversion to opening myself up to loving someone and where it came from. Because this was a memorable week, I felt the need to share. Thanks for reading.