One thing that I have been known for on Facebook for the decade I have been on is the fact that I put up unattractive pics of myself or other people. I also have decent pics of myself but I make the unattractive ones my cover and profile pics. I do it for a lot of reasons but one of the main reasons I do it, besides pissing my friends off, is because my study of sociology has shown me that people truly judge you based off your pics. Mind you, I have other public pics that are decent. But, when in a debate with someone that has run out of ammo, they run to your page to attack your looks. It’s just fun to do.
I Have High Self Esteem
I have told you guys about how bad I was treated in the past for being a slim, black woman in Being a Skinny, Black Girl in America. I later learned how to accept myself and not really care what these people think that know nothing about me. It comes from my upbringing. I worried so much about how people thought about me, my dress, my actions, etc. I had to learn to like me for me.
Once I did that, life was better because I literally didn’t care anymore. I was not going to let these people stress me out so I distanced myself from them for my own sanity and have been doing a lot better.
Gaining Followers Because of Attractive Pics vs Unattractive Pics
There were times when I would monitor the number of followers I got on Facebook based on the pics. If I had attractive pics, of course, I would get more followers (I don’t friend people that I don’t know or haven’t interacted with). The people on my list are usually people that I have known over a decade or new friends that I love to talk to or have plans on meeting (males and females but mostly females).
I really like to laugh at it because it shows how men are so stuck on looks. At one point, there were men that claimed that men weren’t visual creatures. They literally told me that and I laughed. Not only because I have experienced it personally BUT because other men have said it plenty of times. I’m not a visual person. If you respect me, make me laugh, and actually talk to me like a real person, I’m all for it.
People Treat You SO Much Differently When they Think You’re Unattractive
I have seen it and it makes me laugh so hard. First of all, because most people are so pressed to go on your page to investigate what you look like so that they can figure out how to proceed in a debate with you. If you say something that they don’t like, they go to your page. They figure out how much farther to take it based off what they see. I have had some people that were so lazy that they didn’t even do that (I have real pics on my page and I’m not a troll or anything). They just literally look at your profile pic and GO IN! I have had fake, unattractive pics up and they start talking crap and I just laugh at their stupidity. I don’t care how you look if we’re debating, HOWEVER, if you make it a point to go to my page for ammo on my physical appearance because you have no more intelligent dialogue to present, I can return the favor. I don’t mess with people because of their looks unless they come for mine. But, usually, the person that is talking about my looks doesn’t have a pic up.
They usually use the excuse that they don’t have to have their pics up. That’s true. So don’t sit here and talk about my appearance if we don’t have an even playing field. If you’re pretty, they don’t bother you for the most part, especially the men. Women might try it which is really sad.
To tell someone that they are unattractive because you don’t like what they said on a subject is pretty low. So I just laugh but I totally die when they think that pics that aren’t me are me. It speaks even more to their level of intelligence and gets an even bigger kick out of me. I mean, I laugh so hard it’s not even funny.
Judging Your Level of Intelligence Based Off Your Looks
I’m confused. Do you have to be attractive to be intelligent? I actually was about to write another blog about attractive women being smart and how men seem to be annoyed by the fact that a beautiful woman can be smart. I have seen this on many occasions with some Facebook friends of mine. Absolutely gorgeous women and the stereotypes that men hurl at them. But, in this case, if you are unattractive (or perceived as unattractive), your opinion doesn’t matter and you don’t deserve respect. It’s sad but funny at the same time.
People are automatically nicer to you if you are pretty; not recognizing that beautiful doesn’t always mean that you’re a smart or good person just as being unattractive doesn’t mean that you’re a bad or dumb person. I kind of blame fairy tales for things like this. The Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz was pretty, the Bad Witch was unattractive. Disney movies portray the bad person as unattractive and jealous which is why they do mean things to the beautiful or handsome protagonist. In all movies BUT The Hunchback of Notre Dame, the protagonist got the girl; not Quasimodo. He got nothing. The object of his affection ignored him even though he treated her right. It seems as though Disney redeemed themselves with Beauty and the Beast even though, in the end, he was still a beautiful man. But she had fallen in love with the person and not his outward appearance.
I try to tell people this all the time. Trash comes in all packages. You can be absolutely handsome/beautiful but just a crappy person period. And the same can apply to unattractive people. We can’t always control our looks so, in the end, everyone should get respect until they give us a reason to disrespect them. But a debate where someone doesn’t agree with you should never resort to name calling and insults. That’s not how mature dialogue works. I have to state this often but no one hears me, especially depending on the picture that I have up.
Males (Homophobic Usually) Will Unfriend You
I had a guy that I was cool with unfriend me because I had a pic of like a line of gay dancers as my profile pic. I commented on his status and the dude blocked me. I had to laugh. I asked him why. He said because he didn’t want his friends to think he was gay. That told more about his character than anything. To be so worried about what other people thought about you based on the people that you are cool with on Facebook is funny. So what if you have gay friends. Does that make you gay? If someone thinks that based off who you talk to and vilify you for it, then what kind of friends were they in the first place?
Well, I am ending my lil rant right now but I know I’m not alone in seeing this. Maybe you can conduct your own social experiment and see how your experiences are like mine. You might learn something. I’m one of those people that care more about personality than anything. I just think that we have more important things to focus on as far as having friends or even looking for someone to date or marry. If that person makes you feel good in other ways than sex, they are a keeper. But there are some people that don’t notice it until it’s too late and they’re talking to a divorce lawyer or the police.
Have you seen this happen? Tell me about your experiences or observations in the comments.