I’ve Had a Good Few Years…Time to Expect the Worst

Listen, I am one of those people who really doesn’t do the whole negative or positive thinking thing. I’m one of those people that is a realist.  I know that bad things happen to people just like good things happen to people.  Last week, I wrote about the roller coaster week I had and it ended pretty well, right? Well, today is now Wednesday and that transcribing job from home that I had gotten is no longer mine.

Now, I’m not going to put the name of the people out there because that wouldn’t be all that nice, however, they let me go in exactly a week because my accuracy fell to a 4.3 (they want a 4.5) while my formatting was 4.5 which is what they wanted.  In this business, you go from Rookie to R*****, to R*******+.  So I had just made it to the second level on my fourth day there. Instead of demoting me back down to a Rookie, they straight let me go and wished me the best.  Not gonna lie, that hurt. Why?  Because I was staying up late getting paid “less than minimum wage” as my sister reminded me, only to be let go because of a .2 difference in accuracy.  And, might I add, it was their “final decision.”

So, I’m back to looking for another telecommuting position to go with my full-time job that is giving me issues because they are holding back the overtime.  Now, I could just use a different email address, address, and put my payments on a card instead of using my PayPal, or I could just let it go. The bottom line is that I really need the money and, although it was pennies, it was more than I had.

So anyway, back to what I was saying.  I had a good few years and sometimes you just have to wait for the other shoe to fall.  So, it can be expected that things aren’t always going to go well forever.  Every day I am grateful for what I do have.  I mean, every single day.  I love my full-time job. I love the fact that I have a place of my own.  But what would I do if everything was taken away from me?  It’s not like it couldn’t happen?

And even when you do your best, life doesn’t always want to cooperate.  I’ve been finding the positive in a lot of things (like having Diabetes or them messing my credit up because the FedLoan people didn’t appropriately contact me and claimed I had signed up to get everything online regarding my student loan (but that’s another subject)).  The bottom line is that I won’t give up period.

People think I’m lying about getting on the pole but you just might see my fat behind up on somebody’s pole if more money doesn’t come in.

I have to say that ANOTHER person gave me money through PayPal and I cried today.  This time it was a coworker’s mother who has never met me a day in her life and only heard about me through her daughter.  I do not do well with taking things from people and I do not share my stories to get sympathy. I share my stories to show that life isn’t always the best and what you see is what you get with me. I don’t need to put on a show and act like I’ve got it all together because I truly don’t.  And that’s another thing about being bipolar; we just try to live each day as it comes to us.  That’s all we can do.  If it weren’t for my daughter, doctors, and meds, I wouldn’t be here right now.

I saw my therapist yesterday for the first time in about a year and I caught her up on a lot of things that had frustrated me that I had since gotten over but it’s good to just get your feelings out.  It doesn’t have to be in a blog.  Write in your diary, cry in the shower, cry in the bath.  But get those feelings out because they will eat you alive.

Before I was diagnosed with anything, I had a temper. And I had such a temper that I will flip at the littlest thing. I have been known to pull knives on people, put people in choke holds, punch people or things, etc.  It was always in me but, because my mom wanted me to pray about it, I held it in and it did more harm than good.  So get that mess out because my temper gave me heart palpitations.  Just think on that.  A teenager with heart palpitations because of pent-up anger.

Anyhow, I’m just venting right now.  It’s been a rough day but I’m going to keep my head up and, if push comes to shove, I’ll have to go back out into the world and work among people.  Yes, I would prefer a job that I could work from home because people are rude and I know my temper but life happens sometimes.  There are other companies out there so I will just start looking at them. Thanks for reading.  Have a great day!

Published by tallgirl79

Blogging about life. Well, my life. As a black, bipolar, mom to a teenager with special needs, well, there is always a story to tell. From my aversion to having a man to my weird experiences while trying to avoid people, it's all there. Being me is.... different but it always makes for good blogs.

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