I gave all my groups away. I’m not sure if I blogged about it but I let my feelings be known on another post about how people are. Since I have done that, I have had more time on my hands and have been reading more and the like. Because I have been having a bad few weeks lately, I decided to talk to people that I felt I could identify with. You see, I have always been in the group but didn’t talk too much. I would usually catch the topics that were highlighted (have a lot of comments) and I would offer encouragement. What I learned in actually interacting more with the group is that I don’t belong in that group. And it’s not even that I feel that I’m better than any of those people because there are GREAT people in the group. I think my issue is that there are too many victims in the group. Also, just like most groups (but moreso in this group), people feel that everything is an attack when it truly isn’t. But here are the types of the people in the group (that will remain nameless and I’m not talking about situations or people that don’t involve me because I believe in HIPPA at all times (I am in the medical field).
I Have Bipolar Disorder But I Will it Away
I don’t know if they think that they are better than anyone but any time people are asked what they are on and how long they have been diagnosed, there are those that like to say that they take nothing and that’s great but it’s also not typical. Not saying that everyone is the same and all but, bipolar disorder is a mental illness that doesn’t really just go away on its own which leads me to think that they either were misdiagnosed or they don’t even have it. But when you say something to that effect, they say that they are being “attacked”. It’s as if a lot of people in those groups can’t handle a difference of opinion or even a discussion. I have worked in alternative medicine and I know that even THEY take medication (it might be natural but it is still treatment). Acupuncture is also treatment. But this might just be a flawed opinion of mine. Because of what I know about depressive disorders (recurrent or single episode) and the like, it leads me to believe this ONLY because of my experience in the medical field and reading charts. Now, this opinion might be wrong but it’s mine so just take it with a grain of salt if necessary. I still wanted to say it, however.
People in Different Stages of their Diagnosis
There are a lot of people in the group that seem to have given up. In each of our walks of mental illness, we have to go through certain stages of our illness. Usually we go through denial first. Then, once we find out that it really isn’t denial, we have to accept that what we actually were diagnosed and resolve to fix it. Now, resolving to fix it is an issue for some. No lie, for ME, I was in denial. I didn’t want to be on meds. I really didn’t. In 2000, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I was also very violent before my diagnosis. They put me on some meds. I didn’t want to take them. I really didn’t. But I noticed that I wasn’t getting better and I didn’t want to depend on somebody’s medication. So yeah, I was in denial. Great, so you get your meds, right? But then what happens? You have to keep trying until you get the meds that work for you. I’m pretty sure that I talked about this in another blog but I have been through: Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin (caused a seizure), Abilify, Lithium, Seroquel (made me gain weight and now I have Diabetes), and now Clonazepam. Been on a bunch of crap and the frustration can make people give up.
With that said, there are people in the group that have a lot of different diagnoses in addition to the bipolar disorder. So you can’t have a group with just one diagnosis. I don’t even think it’s possible for people to just have one mental illness because one feeds off the other in many cases.
I was looking at some of the posts and noticed that a lot of people blamed their diagnoses for their woes. There were people saying that bipolar disorder caused them all of their relationships. I then started asking questions to get them to really evaluate what they were saying and it was found that many of them weren’t taking their medications so that they could get themselves together. Some were also acting irrationally but had the very power to fix that. There were so many victims in the group, I decided to directly ask them if they blamed their woes in life on their diagnosis. I got a lot of logical answers. Many took responsibility for some of the things they did as well as the fact that they had been in denial and it allowed them to make some mistakes that they wouldn’t have made had they acted quicker. That was good to see. Another GREAT thing to see follows:
Bipolar Folks are Everywhere
There was a post about what we did for a living and you would be surprised how successful many of us are in every day life. We didn’t let our illness cripple us. There were a few that aren’t able to work but I think it’s more due to the comorbid illnesses they have but there are some of us that were lucky enough and maybe determined enough not to let it defeat us. It was really great to see and I made it known throughout the post.
I Gained a Stalker
Now most people know that I am a stickler for rules. I broke a rule, right? This girl didn’t like the topic of my post so she made a slick comment about me not being able to have a color background (yes, I read the rules but I had a brain fart because that is not a typical in most groups. Maybe we will call this Karma but the broad wasn’t even an admin) in a rude manner. She was like “I know how it feels to be too dumb to read the rules”. I have to say that in, many mental illness groups, they don’t like colors because many are seen as triggers. I learned this years ago but forgot. So I reposted the question. Why did this girl come and comment on my post then either delete her post (or the admin deleted it) but she just kept coming back to act like I pulled information out of my butt. Because it was MY post, I will tell what the post was and you will see why this was such an ignorant reason for her to really be mad and follow me around trying to insult me. I make friends wherever I go.
The question was:
“It has been said that when a pet owner is depressed, the pets get depressed. How does that make you feel?”
The ONLY reason I asked the question was because we had just gotten finished posting pics of our animals (and I am a pet owner). The broad got mad at me and said that I was trying to make pet owners feel bad. She also said that I didn’t know what I was talking about so I had to give her the name of the dog trainer (who wrote a book on it) and where I heard it. I do a diet program called Real Appeal through my job and stress was the topic of the meeting last week. So they had the doctor, an interview, and a dog trainer that made the statement. She just kept running that mouth though. That kind of makes me mad but I have been trying to be a helpful and encouraging entity in the group. So I didn’t show my butt. I explained the stance and gave an example of how you get sad when your best friend is upset and you can’t do anything to comfort them. I was in no way trying to make pet owners feel bad. That would be hypocritical of me. My thing is that I don’t want my animals to feel bad (because I get really depressed and have no energy to even take him for his long walks so I know it bothers him) so I try to hurry up and get my self together. My daughter doesn’t care because I’m not in her face. Gary is the only one that cares. Cutie really just lays around near me but doesn’t care.
But back to the topic. Even one of the admins is a jerk. He closed a post that I made where I asked what other diagnoses people had because “this is not a competition”. I scrunched my face up on that one. They were answering a question. As I said before, many people with mental illnesses don’t just have one. He was being petty. He also caught a bit of an attitude because I said sometimes being bipolar isn’t a bad thing because people fear you. He missed the point. It is a respectful fear. You respect a person so as not to do anything stupid if you think that they are “crazy”. I gave the example of fire. You use fire for what it is needed for but you know not to get too close and touch it. I’m not going to condone scaring people off by running around saying you’re “crazy”. But I’m also never going to let someone disrespect me period, crazy or not. The post where people talked about their employment is proof that we can live and thrive with no issues. My job does a background check yearly. No problems here but people do know better. I don’t WANT to be a violent person anymore so I disengage. It’s what you learn with maturity and not playing victim but I don’t think some people get that either.
In conclusion, I’ll likely leave the group. I really wanted to be an encouraging member to the people in the group but I don’t think I have the patience. Even the admin stifle productive discussion on what happens in everyday life when it comes to bipolar disorder. I don’t have the patience because I just gave three groups away where people didn’t participate and played the victim all the time. I don’t want to be around more people that do the same. So I’m just gonna find some positive groups (if I can find some). Someone told me to make another group but I don’t have it in me. I can’t let these folks stress me out. I have two groups and they are just women and we get along just fine.
I wish that the group was run by people in the mental health industry with some sort of credentials honestly. And, no, I don’t want to be that person. I have my little degree but I don’t even think that a lot of the people want help. Some of the posts just make me sad and I don’t want to be sad so I have been distancing myself from people that don’t want to be helped which is why I distanced myself from my three groups (well, one of the groups is a relationship group of the people that actually did came out of my singles groups). So I think I’ll let them figure all that fun stuff out themselves. Because a lot of the people aren’t really open to learning from others or thinking outside of the box.